its done .. a date and time agreed. His receptionist prim, exact – those feelings of shame – was i judged – why do i care …yet i do ..covert ..sneaky ..dark actions. My questions prepared …kids first ..access rights ..what to expect …then money …what a cheap, sordid dance this is. The hall lights are on and the disco is no longer dark …but your still drunk and dancing badly ..and everyone watches …sober.
This is the land we’re in – better get used to it. Home is no better – like a terier snapping at my every move ..hardly dare walk round the house …dark nasty anger.
Spent the weekend taking a school exchange around Auckland. Such a beautiful weekend. Kids full of life .innocent, awkward teens ha! lucky buggers. Muriwai at sunset – what a view – my soul soared – felt alive and free – bliss. Wish my marital sunset was as pretty ha!! sigh!. Chin up..guard up..and in we go..lets hope I have the balls to turn up
